Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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