is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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