it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
