just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
