Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I can't put those talents on a resume
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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