This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have tasted many bathrooms
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
