____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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