his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Bring me that man meat
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
