Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
