He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize