just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
