There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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