I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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