I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
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