Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
