he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
