Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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