I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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