You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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