I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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