Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
