i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
