she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you mean i was at the winter classic?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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