Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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