to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
