He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
50% drunk capacity currently
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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