Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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