My nipple is on Facebook.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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