So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
