Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
you never un-have a 4some
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
