Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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