Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
