2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
