Umm I'm too high to move.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
