Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
