Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
