i barfeds in our rink
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
