best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
