I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
