Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

What are you doing tonight?

(847): View more from Illinois

Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.

Fav 15 1051 4407
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.

Fav 4 1058 2521
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(409): View more from Texas

Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.

Fav 25 1640 5018
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(214): View more from Texas

I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.

(1-214): View more from Texas

that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary

Fav 36 8189 1225
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(714): View more from California

i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..

Fav 19 1747 4688
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.

Fav 6 3317 1148
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I feel like everything in this room is sweating

Fav 2 1001 1388
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(505): View more from New Mexico

30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.

Fav 5 797 591
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(585): View more from New York

Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating

Fav 0 50 7
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