Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize