I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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