Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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