Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
