I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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