wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize