My room smells like vodka and shame
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
