My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
