I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
