i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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