Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
