i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
