trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
