Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
