He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize