how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
