I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize