i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
