New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm both gender and math confused
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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