I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
